I know this is a sensitive subject for many, but I want to touch on it as I spend a lot of time reading about it and listening to motivational speakers to form my best opinions on how to help any way I can if someone I care about is suffering…but by no means am I a professional. THIS IMPACTS EVERYBODY.
Over the years I have come to understand that you simply cannot always see the pain and suffering someone has in their lives. Sometimes you do see pain and anger, but it is misguided and actually a form of depression. This is also very hard for individuals suffering to talk about.
The world we live in is a crazy one and especially this year I feel it is putting a lot of things in perspective. With the limited ability to see family and friends when healthy, and the raw suffering of families not being able to see loved ones when sick and dying life is extremely fragile.
People that may have been suffering from depression prior to COVID changing the world may now have magnified complications. I myself have seen this in more than one individual and it is scary and all too real.
I find that having hobbies is what keeps me grounded and allows me to have a consistent way to clear my mind. Most of my hobbies involve physical activity such as weight lifting, hiking, mountain biking and dirt biking. My lazier hobbies are spending time on YouTube, watching movies and just relaxing around the house but all of them are ways I keep a positive outlook on life. Having my 2 cats and of course my wife to join in my adventures only adds to my ability to be a generally happy individual.
Of course, family and friends are a huge part of an individual’s state of mind, yet even people with strong relationships can suffer from depression! This to me is where things can get complicated. Family and friends often mean well but do not handle or recognize the situation properly. These things take time, and a lot of it. These are not overnight fixes and they require uncompromising support, not the “just toughen up” or “suck it up” types of motivation.
Things that I have seen as a cause of depression vary from person to person.
Disease, break ups, family history, money, alcohol…all huge triggers. A very good friend of mine is currently suffering from terminal cancer and has been for 2 years now. He is a father of 5, with 4 daughters age 10 and under. I will never forget the phone call when he told me his diagnosis which at that point still had some hope but as the months wore on, the diagnosis kept getting worse. There were a few times where it was hard for him to talk about things but to this day he remains positive even through his treatments which have all but killed him at this point. I look at him as a rare case of a fighter even in the face of not being able to care for his family once this disease takes over. HE KEEPS FIGHTING.
It is easy to be angry at the world for whatever situation you might be in. Whenever I am in a conversation with someone that is venting/complaining/whining I use my friend as an example of why we can’t let certain things get to us…I have had to have this conversation with myself time and time again and it really works as a gut check. Sometimes a gut check is only a temporary fix to a situation.
To take this a step further, how do you help somebody suffering from substance abuse as a part of their depression? How do you eliminate what is being used as a tool to fight depression by an individual, but in reality is only hurting them and the people around them? You can try to involve professional help if that individual is willing. For now, all I know is you provide whatever support you can and understand that it is not going to be a short battle. KEEP ON FIGHTING, if you feel like quitting or giving up, KEEP ON FIGHTING.
Ill end it with one of my favorite quotes: “I love the sun, but things don’t grow because of the sun, you have to have some rain”.
This is an image of true happiness to me. One of the last dinners with my 92 year old Oma, and one of my closest family members Niels. Hold on to and cherish these moments in life.